The first law of evil robots

Just when you think it’s over, they RISE FROM THE DEAD!!!

How this could happen: McCain actually realizes that maybe the FEC stuff is serious, he doesn’t want to go to jail, and he can’t go completely dark until September. Mittens steps in, starts writing more checks from Tagg’s bank account, and puts McCain in for VP as part of the deal.

I’m weeping with joy just imagining the possibilities. But what the odds Mittmentum II: Judgment Day ever coming to fruition? If you asked me that question the day after that Times article that concerned itself with McCain’s lobbyist ties and where he was [allegedly] firing his maverick rocket came out, I would have said “roughly equal to the odds of the new Knight Rider being really terrible.” After all, it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s true; it’s been insinuated in a mainstream publication! And even if it wasn’t true, McCain was doing favors for lobbyists! And the Republican Party thinks monogamy is the best thing ever! Yessir, McCain was as screwed as a corporate lobbyist (rimshot).

Except a few funny things happened:
1.) By burying all the important stuff about McCain’s lobbyist ties deep into an article primarily concerned with high school gossip and the extremely unpleasant image of US Senator gettin’ it on, the New York Times was able to shove serious ethical concerns to the sidelines.
2.) The Republican elite decided that invasive probes into the sex lives of prominent politicians were only okay when the subject’s last name rhymed with that of Michael Clayton co-star Tilda Swinton.
3.) Despite McCain’s pathological phobia of truthful statements, the press continues to have a love for him as deep and forbidden as that of [allegedly] a corporate lobbyist.

So it looks like the Straighttalk Express is still doing okay, pending further developments. Short of the FEC suddenly returning full-force, getting mad, turning big and green and breaking McCain’s campaign in half, I don’t see much hope for the Mittmeister.


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