I am manlier than James Wolcott.


I also take a quantum of solace in the findings of Gender Analyzer, which purports to linguistically decode the sexual identity of a blogger, piercing the veil of a clever pseudonym or well-crafted persona. “Markos Moulitsas and James Wolcott will be relieved to learn that they’re as masculine as masculine gets.” Damn solid we’re as masculine as masculine gets. We didn’t need no Gender Analyzer to render that righteous verdict, bucky. Markos and I are like Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen in The Magnificent Seven, barely breaking a bead of sweat as we ignore Horst Bucholz’s horrid overacting. It’s only some of my “critics” in the right blogosphere who are unable to discern the high-tensile steel resolve and cat-like reflexes concealed by my gentle circumference and tender facade, mistaking the fine Risko illustration (in which I resemble a cross between an Aubrey Beardsley absinthe drinker and Percy Dovetonsils) for what I like to call the “real me.”


Moulitsas: 77%

Wolcott: 76%

THIS VERY BLOG BEFORE YOUR EYES: A startlingly masculine 88%. That’s approaching Rahm Emanuel levels of raw, sweaty testosterone.

And now that I’ve written an online test-centric post, I’m afraid that it’s becoming painfully obvious that I’m merely filling up space by trying to procrastinate from filling out Study Abroad forms. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to light this cigar by striking a match on my manly facial stubble.


2 Responses

  1. It’s an honor to be within ten points of Rahm Emmanuel’s masculine levels. Congratulations. This post got me wondering, are cigars manlier than cigarettes?

  2. They’re certainly more phallic.

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