The Friends Game

Imagine you go to a Christmas Party. It’s not one with any of your close friends–it’s mostly just people from work and acquaintances from school. You get there a little late, take off your jacket, and insert yourself into a conversation.

“Oh, hey,” that girl at the help desk says, “we were just speculating on whether or not you’ve ever had a threesome.”

“What makes you think I have?” you say, a little mortified that people you barely know are voting on this.

“Oh, I didn’t say I think you have,” she said. “I said we were speculating. It just sort of came up.”

“Wait,” you say. “So do you or do you not think that I’ve had a threesome?” Suddenly how these people judge your sex life seems very important to you. How they answer could carry all sorts of other connotations related to their opinion of you.

“We’ll tell you later,” the girl says. “First, you need to tell us whether or not you think Dave who sits in the cubicle next to yours is hot.”

“I really don’t-”

“And also whether or not Kim has a six-pack.”

And so you spend the rest of the night at the party making inexplicably strange value judgments about people you barely know; value judgments that, just as with your threesome question, they can find out about at any time if they agree to vote more.

By this point, I figure most of the regular Facebook users have figured out what I’m talking about This app exists, and it’s really popular–something that’s simultaneously really peculiar and wholly predictable.

My point, I guess, is that the Internet is a very weird place which encourages very strange social behaviors.


2 Responses

  1. I got one about “Do you think Tom has ever stolen anything?” from someone who I barely talk to.

    the internet makes you stupid.

  2. Wait, I’m confused – have you ever had a threesome?

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