1. Can you talk about “Mad Men?” Yes.
2. Can you talk about the “The Sopranos?” Yes.
3. Do you know who replaced Bob Barker on “The Price Is Right?” No.
4. Have you watched an Oprah show from beginning to end? No.
5. Can you hold forth animatedly about yoga? No.
6. How about pilates? No.
7. How about skiing? No.
8. Mountain biking? No.
9. Do you know who Jimmie Johnson is? No.
10. Does the acronym MMA mean anything to you? Yes, but it didn’t before Charles Murray’s article. So no.
11. Can you talk about books endlessly? Yes.
12. Have you ever read a “Left Behind” novel? No.
13. How about a Harlequin romance? No.
14. Do you take interesting vacations? When I take vacations, yes.
15. Do you know a great backpacking spot in the Sierra Nevada? No.
16. What about an exquisite B&B overlooking Boothbay Harbor? No.
17. Would you be caught dead in an RV? Yes.
18. Would you be caught dead on a cruise ship? Not since reading A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again.
19. Have you ever heard of of Branson, Mo? Yes, but I have no idea why. So … no?
20. Have you ever attended a meeting of a Kiwanis Club? No.
21. How about the Rotary Club? No.
22. Have you lived for at least a year in a small town? No.
23. Have you lived for a year in an urban neighborhood in which most of your neighbors did not have college degrees? No.
24. Have you spent at least a year with a family income less than twice the poverty line? No.
25. Do you have a close friend who is an evangelical Christian? Close? No.
26. Have you ever visited a factory floor? No.
27. Have you worked on one? No.
So according to this test, I’m about 89% elitist. Yikes. Does that mean I get a free New Yorker subscription?